The start of it all...

Okay, so I tried the whole upbeat and happy image, but guess what, it faultered, I couldn't keep it up, although, no-one seemed to know it was an act. I'm meant to have a happy life, with a fantastic boyfriend and amazing friends, so why is it that every single one of my days turns out crap, I get angry at the thought of him not texting me like he promised and I just want to go to bed and cry. I can't though, because that would worry my mum and dad, and so far, they are still oblivious. I'm tired of my whole life being led around a lie and I'm tired of making out like I'm happy and excited and carefree, when inside the stress is killing me and even the tiny things that shouldn't matter, wind me up. It's the faults that don't matter to him, and seem triveal to everyone else are whats making me hate everything. Why do I constantly think everyone is out to get me? Why am I always worried that the only good thing in my life will end? Why am I me? The answer: Maybe Existing, isn't my forte.