Taken away, kicking and screaming.

Well, it's time for my families trip to the caravan, only this time, I don't have a friend to take with me. They all have their own lives, leaving me stuck up in the middle of no where, alone. I'm bored, it's raining and it's empty. At least this way though, I get a chance to do everything I wouldn't want to do at home. I can get some things finished, start some things that I didn't have time to start back at home, and I get a break from it all, which could be just what I need. There is a silver lining to every cloud, lets just hope this optimistic attitude survives the holiday. More from me, with the holiday of a bored lifetime, hoping it gets better. Wish me luck.

And again...

I really don't see why I still bother trying, its not like you're bothered at all. I haven't seen you for a week and you live down the road. I'm going on holiday on Tuesday and you promised you'd see me today, but then, when I ask if you're coming down, you say you're busy. I'm just not going to see you at all am I? I'm going to keep on trying, but I don't think I can handle getting rejected over and over again. I'm not some emotionless monster you can have or leave when you feel like it. I have feelings and you just don't seem to care. I don't see why I bother trying, when you obviously don't care at all. I don't want to only be able to see you when you can fit me in around everything else. You're my boyfriend, surely you need to make time to see me. I'm happy to drop everything for you, only problem is, I do that, and you have last minuet plans. Again. I really don't see why I carry on bothering. Every single promise that you make me seems to be broken, and every little thing you do leaves me open. I can't go on like this. It hurts too much.

Oh my GAWD!!

Why the hell do you do this! You're adimant you can come and see my, but as soon as it comes round to it, you have an excuse! It makes me feel pathetic, surely you don't find out you have homework at 6o'clock, surely you've known since school, so stop telling me you can when you know you can't! At least that way I can make plans instead of feeling like shit all night!! And you're meant to love me. Nice to know that's true.

Well, a day from the unexpected...

It has been a fantastic weekend. I don't think I have laughed so much in my life! I had such a good time! It actually has been undescribable :) Thank you all.

You may be late, but you show up with a BANG! :D

Wow

So, it's nice to know, that even when your boyfriend fails you, that your friends are there to pick up the pieces. I actually laughed all night :) Seeing him today though, love to see what he's got to say for himself after leaving me to cope on my own. Don't get me wrong, I understand he might feel awkward and I'm deffinatly not going to look my best, but so far, every time I've needed him, he's let me down. I don't think I can take it another time...

Another day...

Wow, things just don't seem to change, I tell you the worst news I've had since my rabbit dies and I don't heard from you at all. You told me you felt a little bit sick and I came round, rung you and text everyday to see how you where. Nice to know you feel the same way I suppose. I wish I didn't love you so much, it would make this so much easier! I guess it's just nice to know one of us makes the effort. Usually though, it's meant to be the lad. :/ Maybe you're just over it know, thanks for filling me in. I give up. I hate life. I'm depressed and it's what I'm good at, it's too hard to turn it around.

I understand...

I understand completely, I mean, what kind of boyfriend wants to go and see his girlfriend when she's at her lowest? What kind of boyfriend is there to hug her when she needs to be hugged? What kind of boyfriend is there when she needs him the most? I understand completely.

:(

Where are you when I need you most? Even a text will suffice, I just want a damned hug.

Trapped in a vicious circle...

And so it keeps happening again and again... Or not happening as you seem to be so keen on...

I must concure...

The days are getting better, the nights are getting longer and the love it getting stronger. Life is turning fab again :D

I think I can keep trying.

I don't want to be the one person in life that pisses everyone off. So I will try and shake it off, I'm not saying my temper will manage this drastic turn of events, but I will have to try. Please don't leave me, I'm changing for you...

Is it starting again? Or should I say ending?

So, I've worked it with my mates, :) I can fill the awkward silences with random spurts of idiotiness, and they seem happy that I'm back to my normal self, but inside, I'm dying. Why can't you see, that you're never there when I need you most? Why do you do this so easily, when inside I'm falling apart without you? It doesn't make sense...