Inconsiderate and Inept

After months of asking for a second chance, and asking me to forgive you, and asking me to let you have another shot. After months of hounding me, asking me to meet up with you and saying you'll never forget about me again, and that you'll make time for me, and hang out with me, how can you do it all over again. I said that I was unsure, I didn't want to feel unneeded and inadequet again, but you promised me you'd changed, and that you were different, that this time, I would stay at the top of your important list. But it was all lies. I can't believe I fell for it again. I can't belive I agreed, and let you back into my life, just so you could hurt me again. You only ever even think about hanging out with me, when you've got NO ONE else. Even then, you've already gone through EVERYONE you can think of. I can't believe I actually believed you. I'm all for second chances. But no one ever changes when it comes to me.

Say what now?

Why is it, at my weakest emotionally, I have loads of lads who keep talking to me? And not one of them is appropriate to go out with, and if they are, they aren't showing any interest... Why can't I just meet a genuinly nice lad? No complications? ... Oh wait, I forgot, that's impossible...

Finally Home

Ahh, the bliss of my own house, my own bed, my own shower, even my own kitchen. After three weeks away, I'm glad to be back. My mind still is insane, and I don't think it'll change for a while now, but I might as well just learn to live with it. I'm getting better. It still hurts like hell to think, but I can stand to be on my own for a while now, staying in your house when you're on holiday probably didn't help though... I want to get over it, but at the same time, I don't. But hopefully, a new look, a new me. Some habits are hard to break though...